10 things to consider if you’re interested in a single dad

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He tried to pursue me about 3 years ago but I was already in a relationship during those years so we kept in touch here and there thru social networks. A good companion for a single dad with children will look for the good in others and will speak positively of them. In fact he will do everything he can to prove that he is serious and that his feelings are straight forward about her.

So if you have met his parents or he is arranging a meet up, then you can be rest assured that he is not only serious about you, but he can also see a future between you too. You might already be getting close to the best he can give right now.

Don’t Do This If You Date A Single Dad

Well, yes, in all likelihood! Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License But wait! Dating a single dad is, most definitely, a challenge, but it can be an immensely rewarding experience too. And that means they are in it for the long-haul and will strive to make it work, albeit in a 60-40 ratio. Dating a single dad is a different cross-sectional study in human nature where those normal dating rules do NOT apply. And right before you go all in for there are potential dangers , there are some things to consider: If you are a single woman dating a single dad: This will include a whole lot of things you might have to get on board with. And to top it all, you might not even get a full reimbursement in the relationship, for your man owes his allegiance to his children, first and foremost! Instead, if he alters his plan with them to make plans with you, THAT is a red flag. But give him a minute or even twenty or perhaps, two dates to flush it out of his system. He will get to the point where it will be about the two of you. After all, you are dating a single father! He is a dad and these things will happen, a lot. You may, instead, opt for a more supportive approach so he knows that you are willing to try and are encouraging of his parenting habits. You cannot escape the ex-factor Image source: Unless he is a widower, there is a mom lurking somewhere in the shadows. Kids imply an inevitable involvement of the other parent figure in their lives and consequently, on your relationship. You will have to avoid rehashing old issues and drawing boundaries that may seem too rigid to allow the just involvement of the ex in all decisions pertaining to the children. In the process, some unpleasant and challenging emotions may surge within you and you should be prepared to deal with them. You will have to grapple with ego, attachment, and jealousy issues even when your boyfriend feels no attachment to his ex-wife, but nonetheless, is the mother of his children. Most single guys only have to juggle work and social lives. And they barely manage. Single dads, on the other hand, have an infinite list of things on their to-do list and get on well. He may even show up late, and perhaps, have ketchup stains on his collar. Do not judge him — he had to bribe his way into coming to see you. That speaks a lot. At least for a little while. And it shall not be an equitable distribution. Trust me, kids can create emergencies like that. Similar situations may happen when you are romantically involved with a single dad, sharing joint custody. You have to be sure about how you fit in with his kids Image source: , under Creative Commons License Meeting the kids is a HUGE step in the process. Do not do it unless you are 200% sure about it. If you are serious and intend to get married somewhere down the line, then it might be a good idea to meet the kids. However, pick your moments and decide if you want to be a parental figure or a friend. Either way, you need to keep the communication loop open with your boyfriend and for many decisions, the ex-wife too, so as to be able to be a part of the complicated equation. Be prepared for any sort of reaction, as the kids may take well to a fun friend they have parental figures already but the father might not take well to your responses when he is disciplining them or you may be tagged as an evil stepmom if the kids fail to accommodate you! Be mentally prepared for any response-swing on the spectrum, and tweak your strategy accordingly. However, the transition from being two parents who bond over kid-talk to potential partners might still not be a smooth one. There are far too many things that you might want to consider before you take the plunge: 1. This will be a more complex equation Image source: When you are both parents, there will be the two of you, the kids, and both your exes in the picture! As such, the relationship dynamic will be a lot more complex and governed by a number of factors that stem from such a situation. How you share custody, how old your children are, the number of kids, the ex-involvement, and other related elements factor in to piece together if the two of you shall fit in seamlessly as pieces of the same puzzle. As such, you will have to… 2. Look for the cues for the RIGHT fit Image source: If your kids are the same age, do they gel well? Are both of you willing to share the parental responsibilities of your kids together? Are your families okay with the leap? Is parenthood the only reason you are drawn to each other? If yes, would that make for an effective long term relationship? These might just be a few of the things you might want to check to see if you people belong together. Check to see your parenting styles do not conflict Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License This one is a BIG one. You must check to see if your approach toward your kids is a good blend with his style of parenting. A strict disciplinarian approach may not gel well with a liberal, flexible one. So, discuss your models of parenthood and see if there is an optimal path you can tread together. A huge chunk of time will be sliced right off by parenting Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License This one is a given. Be prepared to have most of the Ferris-rides of the clock being taken off by Nutella-feeding, potty-training, diaper-changing or even making science projects! This is a confusing stage in their development and you need to triple check to make sure you plant yourself right. All kids love their parents and want them to be together. For them to accept the fact that a new set may tag along will take some digestion. And you need to give them that. Work on that timing and get it right. There will be a whole set of new boundaries to work with Image source: While a single woman, you would still have to be careful of what you say and do, in relation to the kids — as a single mom dating a single dad, you will have to be all the more careful. Quite a task, lady! Considering all of the above crucial aspects in allowing your relationship with him, his kids, and to an extent, with the ex, to flourish on healthy ground is what you should strive for. Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License.

What were we supposed to do or talk about. He was and is a lovely man, but it was a very complicated situation. Loving them is not a guarantee that you and him will end up married, but not loving them is a north that he will not marry you. Trust me, kids can create emergencies like that. Many girlfriends try too hard to get the kids to like her and end up being manipulated by them. They just don't need to hear about how your lack of skills with Donkey Kong at age xi feeds into your lack of skills with Mario Kart Racing at age 27. In Conclusion If a man is serious about a girl, then he will do everything he can, to make that girl feel special, secure and loved. Does she care about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing or is it always all about her?.